Mix America great again!

You’ve probably all heard the stories… They’re all true… This year, on the 27nd of October, the De Pijptournament will return to Amsterdam. Even though it’s in the Netherlands, it’s a great, great American jewel. A world jewel.

It will take place in Sporthal de Pijp in the Lizzy Ansinghstreet. And it’s not just going to be a normal it tournament. It’ll be Huuuuuuge! In fact, when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, let’s just make the De Pijptournament great again!

The last couple of years the De Pijptournament was well organised. Great people. They did a tremendous job. But you all know these tournaments took place during the Obama administration. Obama, total loser. The media said these tournaments were great, but I’ll tell you it’s fake news. The lying media told you about these amazing tournaments, but believe me… it’s fake, phony, fake. They were a total massacre. This year, believe me, I will improve the tournament bigly. It’ll be the best volleyball event ever.

So what happens is, we’re gonna play a tournament. It starts around 2 o’clock and it’ll consist of mix teams only. So only teams with at least two women in it are allowed. I will be phenomenal to the women. I mean, I want to help women.

I tell you everybody is going to play like they never did in any other event. They’ll play volleyball with fire and fury. All players are going to play with a power… frankly with a power the likes of which this world has never seen before.

After the tournament we’re gonna build a wall, a wall of food for you to eat. It’s going to be the best food you’ve ever had. And Mexico is going to pay for it. We’ll finish off with a dessert that’s so delicious… maybe even my beautiful wife will come here and taste it. It will be beautiful. Mark my words.

After that there is going to be a party. The party is going to be so incredible. We will see the biggest crowd in history. But what do you think the chances are that this incredible, massive crowd – it will be record-setting – is going to be shown on television? 1% or zero? The fake media will say I gave a party for a small crowd of volleyball players. But we’ll be doing great. Believe me…

After that there is going to be a party. The party is going to be so incredible. We will see the biggest crowd in history. But what do you think the chances are that this incredible, massive crowd – it will be record-setting – is going to be shown on television? 1% or zero? The fake media will say I gave a party for a small crowd of volleyball players. But we’ll be doing great. Believe me…

I have no doubt that you will all go and subscribe for the tournament at www.hetdepijptoernooi.nl. You could do other stuff as well, but people don’t realize, you know… the Amsterdam dance event, if you think about it, why? People from the establishment don’t tell you that, but I’ll tell you… it’s the biggest threat following China and ISIS.

What I mean to say is, the people who joined my volleyball tournaments before… they all love me. I’m so smart… and so rich… It’s an amazing opportunity for all of you. No volleyball tournament in history, and I say this with great surety, is going to be as ridiculously good as this one. Not coming to join would be a big mistake. So be smart and come this year’s the De Pijptournament. From this moment on, it’ll be the De Pijptournament first… De Pijptournament first!

Let’s mix it great again!

Date: 27 October 2018; time: warming up 2 pm, tournament from 2:30 pm; place: Sporthal de Pijp; price: 90 euro per team

Questions? info@hetdepijptoernooi.nl